FactFilmPoem Draft!

That's my draft right there. Yesterday I got some really great feedback on it, overall people really seemed to enjoy it:

• Split screen works well!
• The font is good - kind of ugly and ironic. Have a look at Mel Brook's High Anxiety for more great yellow fonts. The yellow and red fonts seem to work best!
• Last frame is a bit weird to end on - do you need it? It's a bit of a breather but feels like too much of a comedown after the rest of the film. Maybe it needs something afterwards. They were kind of shocked it ended there. Some suggested moving it to the beginning although they really liked the opening shot! There's an interesting hand action she does that you could use in a repeat, so it makes more sense as a counterpoint.
• The text throughout should form more of a sentence so it makes more of a thread through the film. Play with the text a bit more - have it flash on and off or something.
• Twist section needs to be a bit more impactful!
• Maybe to bulk it up you could play some sections (Audrey Hepburn for example) backwards - like the counterpoint clip.
• The silent sections are good!
• Could somebody be doing a voiceover? 'Contrapposto' in Tom Waits voice, imagine!

I'm now going to work on these and come back with a final piece! (or maybe a couple of drafts then a final piece.)